How scary! And of course I'm referring both to the creep at your door as well as the thought of you carrying around mace. Do you really think someone with your accident-prone track record should be toting pepper spray? You are totally going to mace yourself in the eyes. You are only one accident away from having "bless her heart" be a constant sidenote whenever you are refered to by southern ladies. (example: ...and then Laura, bless her heart, maced herself in the eyes!) Please be careful.
Your ever concerned sister,