Thursday, December 2, 2010

Dear Kate,

As you know, I'm not much of a star-struck person.  I mean, I don't really care what celebrities do in their private lives and I have no urge to ever meet almost any of them.  I never had a crush on a celebrity as a kid - though I faked a crush on one of the Hanson brothers to fit in with my friends.  I don't keep up with who's married, dating, or using drugs.

Honestly, I probably wouldn't even notice most "famous" people if I saw them.  I'm not that good with names and faces.  I might very well have ruined some poor celebrity's prank by walking right past them without a second glance as they checked me out at the grocery store surrounded by hidden cameras.

But Tina Fey.  Tina Fey is different.  She and Neil Patrick Harris.  They both make me laugh until I feel I might be incontinent (pee myself, for those of you less medical folks).  And I can't help but fear meeting them.  I mean, if I meet just any old celebrity, who cares?  But I would want those two to be my friends.  And what if I met them and they didn't like me?

I couldn't handle it.  So, Tina, Neil, if you're out there reading, stay away unless you want an awesomely funny friend.  I don't need a broken heart.


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