Saturday, January 12, 2013

Dear Kate,

Oooo, the best and worst of pregnancy...  The best thing is probably that I have an excuse for virtually anything.  Caught sneaking a second helping of dessert?  I'm not a fatty, I'm pregnant.  Napping during lunch at work?  I'm not lame, I'm pregnant.  Crying all the time?  I'm not sappy or overly emotional, I'm pregnant.  It's awesome.  I can get away with anything!  Watching TV instead of cleaning the house?  I'm not lazy, I'm very busy growing a human being here, people!

Now, the worst thing about pregnancy... It's not getting fat, though that's no fun...  It's not the nausea - and I was pretty lucky there anyhow...  I would have to say the worst thing about pregnancy is how suddenly everyone else in the world becomes extremely annoying and then they blame it on your hormones.  I mean, it's not my fault you type more loudly on your computer during my pregnancy than you did before.  Clearly, it's not my hormones that caused you to suddenly stop being funny when you tease me.  Obviously the problem is not with me but with the world.

Now I'm going to go eat some cookies.  And shut up about it, I'm pregnant!

Not the least bit hormonal,
Bora

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Dear Bora,
The worst thing about being a mom is definitely the finger nails.  I'll give you three reasons, in case you need convincing.  First, baby finger nails grow incredibly fast.  Remember how when we first moved to the South we were terrified that if we stood still for too long that the kudzu would sneak up and strangle us?  It's like that, but for real.  Second, baby finger nails are impossible to cut.  The safety nail clippers don't allow you to cut them short enough and the real clippers (plus baby's jerky, Parkinson's-like movements) make it a certainty that you will take off the fingertip along with the nail.  That only leaves the option of biting your baby's finger nails.  Now, I know you like biting your own nails, but I assure you, this activity offers none of the boredom/stress relief of your own personal habit.  This is a sheer battle of will and strength with your baby and you must win because my third and final point is this: baby fingernails are sharp and are super painful when dug into your neck (which is baby's favorite place to dig them).  So you can clearly see- finger nails are the worst part of motherhood.
What have you found to be the best and worst parts of pregnancy?
Looking forward to comparing notes,
Kate
Dear Kate,

I'm so glad to hear about my soon-to-be baking skills!  (Probably more excited than about the leaping little boy in my belly...)  As you know, I do not eat enough cookies as it is, so this might really help me in this rather difficult area of my life.

I've also heard that new mothers develop x-ray vision (in order to see out the back of their heads) which sounds super cool.  But me, I'm really more concerned about the downsides of parenthood and I need to know the honest truth - what's the worst part about being a new mom?

No lying,
Bora.
Dear Bora,
I've tried to post a reply about a dozen times but have never got past "Dear Bora" until today.  I guess that's the joy of motherhood for you.  The first and most important thing you need to know about becoming a mom is this:  You are immediately endowed with the ability to bake delicious cookies from scratch, without a recipe.  This is according to our 21 year old brother, who, of course, knows everything there is to know about motherhood.  So, now you have something to look forward to besides that whole newborn baby thing.
Love,
Kate

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Dear Kate,

I know you're busy now that you have a baby and all, but I was thinking about this blog and I realized how good it could be as a dueling mommy blog.  I mean, come April, I'm going to need to be a famous mommy blogger. 

Now, I'm willing to forgive you since you were clearly the one who dropped the ball here... so please come back with your wit and mommy wisdom.  I have only 15 weeks to learn everything there is to know about being a mom.

Your pregnant sister,
Bora.