Friday, December 25, 2015

Dear Kate,

Despite everything, I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas. At first, I thought you might be faking your broken arm, but now that your hand is swollen, shiny, and dead-looking, I'm certain that you were just willing to go to extremes to avoid helping with any cooking, cleaning, and caring for children (including your own) during your vacation.

I mean, have you even held your niece since you got here? And no, that time you stroked her head with your "dead hand" to see if it felt different doesn't count!


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